Scene 23

Pilate's addwess

[trumpets]
CROWD:
[cheering]
PILATE:
People of Jewusalem!
CROWD:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Wome is your fwiend.
CROWD:
[laughing]
PILATE:
To pwove our fwiendship, it is customawy at this time to welease a wongdoer fwom our pwisons.
CROWD:
[laughing]
GUARD #3:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Whom would you have me welease?
BOB HOSKINS:
Welease Woger!
CROWD:
Yes! Welease Woger! Welease Woger! [laughing]
PILATE:
Vewy well. I shall welease Woger!
CROWD:
[cheering]
CENTURION:
Sir, uh, we don't have a 'Woger', sir.
PILATE:
What?
CENTURION:
Uh, we don't have anyone of that name, sir.
PILATE:
Ah. We have no 'Woger'!
CROWD:
Ohhhhh!
BOB:
Well, what about Wodewick, then?
CROWD:
Yes! Welease Wodewick! Welease Wodewick!
PILATE:
Centuwion, why do they titter so?
CENTURION:
Just some, uh, Jewish joke, sir.
PILATE:
Are they... wagging me?
CENTURION:
Oh, no, sir!
GUARD #3:
[chuckling]
PILATE:
Vewy well. I shall welease... Wodewick!
CROWD:
[laughing]
CENTURION:
Sir, we don't have a 'Roderick' either.
PILATE:
No 'Woger'? No 'Wodewick'?
CENTURION:
Sorry, sir.
PILATE:
Who is this 'Wod'--
GUARD #1:
[chuckle]
PILATE:
Who is the 'Wodewick' to whom you wefer?
BOB:
He's a wobber!
CROWD:
[laughing]
MAN:
And a wapist!
CROWD:
[laughing]
WOMAN:
And a pickpocket!
CROWD:
Yeah! Ahh, no! No! Shh! Shh!...
PILATE:
He sounds a notowious cwiminal.
CENTURION:
We haven't got him, sir. Mm hm.
PILATE:
Do we have anyone in our pwisons at all?
CENTURION:
Oh, yes, sir. We've got, uh, 'Samson', sir.
PILATE:
Samson?
CENTURION:
Samson the Sadducee Strangler, sir. Uh, Silus the Syrian Assassin. Uh, several seditious scribes from Caesarea. Uhhh, sixty-seven seers from--
BIGGUS:
Let me thpeak to them, Pontiuth!
CENTURION:
Oh, no. Oh.
PILATE:
Ah. Good idea, Biggus.
BIGGUS:
Thitizens! We have Thamthon the Thadduthee Thtrangler, Thilus...
CROWD:
[laughing]
BIGGUS:
...the Athyrian Athathin, theveral theditiouth thcribth from Thaetharea, and...

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Adam R. Jones