Scene 26

Crucifixion party

NISUS:

Mhmm. Crucifixion party. 'Morning. Now, we will be on a show as we go through the town, so let's not let the side down. Keep in a good, straight line, three lengths between you and the man in front, and a good, steady pace. Crosses over your left shoulders, and, if you keep your backs hard up against the crossbeam,...

ALFONSO:

Ohhh.

NISUS:

...you'll be there in no time.

ALFONSO:

Ohhh.

NISUS:

Heh.

ALFONSO:

Ooh.

NISUS:

All right, Centurion.

PARVUS:

Crucifixion party! Wait for it.

ALFONSO:

Ooh.

PARVUS:

Crucifixion party, by the left! Forward!

BEN:

You lucky bastards!

You lucky, jammy bastards!

ALFONSO:

Ohh. Ohh. Ohh. Oh. Oh.

SAINTLY PASSER-BY:

Let me shoulder your burden, brother. Uh.

ALFONSO:

Oh, thank you.

SAINTLY PASSER-BY:

Uh. H-- hey!

PARVUS:

Oh, hey! What d'you think you're doing?

SAINTLY PASSER-BY:

Ah, i-- it's not my cross.

PARVUS:

Shut up and get on with it!

MR. CHEEKY:

Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He had you there, mate. Didn't he? That'll teach you a lesson. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

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