Scene 2

'Bring out your dead!'

[thud]

[clang]

CART MASTER:

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[cough cough...]

[clang]

[...cough cough]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead! Ninepence.

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

[clang]

Bring out...

[rewr!]

...your dead!

[rewr!]

[clang]

Bring out your dead!

CUSTOMER:

Here's one.

CART MASTER:

Ninepence.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm not dead!

CART MASTER:

What?

CUSTOMER:

Nothing. Here's your ninepence.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm not dead!

CART MASTER:

'Ere. He says he's not dead!

CUSTOMER:

Yes, he is.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm not!

CART MASTER:

He isn't?

CUSTOMER:

Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.

DEAD PERSON:

I'm getting better!

CUSTOMER:

No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.

CART MASTER:

Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.

DEAD PERSON:

I don't want to go on the cart!

CUSTOMER:

Oh, don't be such a baby.

CART MASTER:

I can't take him.

DEAD PERSON:

I feel fine!

CUSTOMER:

Well, do us a favour.

CART MASTER:

I can't.

CUSTOMER:

Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.

CART MASTER:

No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.

CUSTOMER:

Well, when's your next round?

CART MASTER:

Thursday.

DEAD PERSON:

I think I'll go for a walk.

CUSTOMER:

You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?

DEAD PERSON: [singing]

I feel happy. I feel happy.

[whop]

CUSTOMER:

Ah, thanks very much.

CART MASTER:

Not at all. See you on Thursday.

CUSTOMER:

Right. All right.

[howl]

[clop clop clop]

Who's that, then?

CART MASTER:

I dunno. Must be a king.

CUSTOMER:

Why?

CART MASTER:

He hasn't got shit all over him.

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