Scene 16

'Hurry, Sir Launcelot. Hurry!'

[inside castle]

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS:

[giggle giggle giggle]

[outside castle]

GUEST:

'Morning!

SENTRY #1:

'Morning.

SENTRY #2:

Oooh.

SENTRY #1:

[ptoo]

LAUNCELOT:

Ha ha! Hiyya!

SENTRY #2:

Hey!

LAUNCELOT:

Hiyya!, Ha!, etc.

PRINCESS LUCKY and GIRLS:

[giggle giggle giggle]

LAUNCELOT:

Ha ha! Huy!

GUESTS:

Uuh! Aaah!

LAUNCELOT:

Ha ha! And take this! Aah! Hiyah! Aah! Aaah! Hyy! Hya! Hiyya! Ha!...

GUARD #1:

Now, you're not allowed to enter the room-- aaugh!

LAUNCELOT:

O fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Launcelot of Camelot. I have come to take y-- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

HERBERT:

You got my note!

LAUNCELOT:

Uh, well, I-- I got a-- a note.

HERBERT:

You've come to rescue me!

LAUNCELOT:

Uh, well, no. You see, I hadn't--

HERBERT:

I knew someone would. I knew that somewhere out there...

[music]

LAUNCELOT:

Well, I--

HERBERT:

...there must be... someone...

FATHER:

Stop that! Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?

HERBERT:

I'm your son!

FATHER:

No, not you.

LAUNCELOT:

Uh, I am Sir Launcelot, sir.

HERBERT:

He's come to rescue me, Father.

LAUNCELOT:

Well, let's not jump to conclusions.

FATHER:

Did you kill all those guards?

LAUNCELOT:

Uh... Oh, yes. Sorry.

FATHER:

They cost fifty pounds each!

LAUNCELOT:

Well, I'm awfully sorry. Um, I really can explain everything.

HERBERT:

Don't be afraid of him, Sir Launcelot. I've got a rope all ready.

FATHER:

You killed eight wedding guests in all!

LAUNCELOT:

Well, uh, you see, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.

FATHER:

I can understand that.

HERBERT:

Hurry, Sir Launcelot! Hurry!

FATHER:

Shut up! You only killed the bride's father, that's all!

LAUNCELOT:

Well, I really didn't mean to...

FATHER:

Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!

LAUNCELOT:

Oh, dear. Is he all right?

FATHER:

You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!

LAUNCELOT:

Well, I can explain. I was in the forest, um, riding north from Camelot, when I got this note, you see--

FATHER:

Camelot? Are you from, uh, Camelot?

HERBERT:

Hurry, Sir Launcelot!

LAUNCELOT:

Uh, I am a Knight of King Arthur, sir.

FATHER:

Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.

LAUNCELOT:

Is it?

HERBERT:

Hurry! I'm ready!

FATHER:

Would you, uh, like to come and have a drink?

LAUNCELOT:

Well, that-- that's, uh, awfully nice of you,...

HERBERT:

I am ready!

LAUNCELOT:

...um, I mean to be so understanding.

[thonk]

Um,...

[woosh]

HERBERT:

Oooh!

LAUNCELOT:

...I'm afraid when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a bit, uh, sort of carried away.

FATHER:

Oh, don't worry about that.

HERBERT:

Oooh!

[splat]

Back to the Holy Grail page / On to the next scene!