Scene 22
Inside the cave / Black Beast of Aaauugh
- ARTHUR:
- There! Look!
- LAUNCELOT:
- What does it say?
- GALAHAD:
- What language is that?
-
- ARTHUR:
- Brother Maynard! You are a scholar.
- MAYNARD:
- It's Aramaic!
- GALAHAD:
- Of course! Joseph of Arimathea!
- LAUNCELOT:
- 'Course!
- ARTHUR:
- What does it say?
- MAYNARD:
- It reads, 'Here may be found the last words of Joseph of
Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find
the Holy Grail in the Castle of aaaaaagggh'.
- ARTHUR:
- What?
- MAYNARD:
- '...The Castle of aaaaaagggh'.
- BEDEVERE:
- What is that?
- MAYNARD:
- He must have died while carving it.
- LAUNCELOT:
- Oh, come on!
- MAYNARD:
- Well, that's what it says.
- ARTHUR:
- Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve
'aaaaaggh'. He'd just say it!
- MAYNARD:
- Well, that's what's carved in the rock!
- GALAHAD:
- Perhaps he was dictating.
- ARTHUR:
- Oh, shut up. Well, does it say anything else?
- MAYNARD:
- No. Just 'aaaaaagggh'.
- LAUNCELOT:
- Aaaauugggh.
- ARTHUR:
- Aaaaaggh.
- BEDEVERE:
- Do you suppose he meant the Camaaaaaargue?
- GALAHAD:
- Where's that?
- BEDEVERE:
- France, I think.
- LAUNCELOT:
- Isn't there a 'Saint Aaauuves' in Cornwall?
- ARTHUR:
- No, that's 'Saint Ives'.
- LAUNCELOT:
- Oh, yes. Saint Iiiiives.
- KNIGHTS:
- Iiiiives.
- BEDEVERE:
- Oooohoohohooo!
- LAUNCELOT:
- No, no. 'Aaaauugggh', at the back of the throat.
Aaauugh.
- BEDEVERE:
- N-- no. No, no, no, no. 'Oooooooh', in surprise and
alarm.
- LAUNCELOT:
- Oh, you mean sort of a 'aaaah'!
- BEDEVERE:
- Yes, but I-- aaaaaah!
- ARTHUR:
- Oooh!
- GALAHAD:
- My God!
- [dramatic chord]
- [roar]
-
- MAYNARD:
- It's the legendary Black Beast of Aaauugh!
- [Black Beast of Aaauugh eats BROTHER MAYNARD]
- BEDEVERE:
- That's it! That's it!
- ARTHUR:
- Run away!
- KNIGHTS:
- Run away!
- [roar]
- Run away! Run awaaay! Run awaaaaay!
- [roar]
- Keep running!
- [boom]
- [roar]
- Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!...
- BEDEVERE:
- We've lost him.
- [roar]
- KNIGHTS:
- Aagh!
- NARRATOR:
- As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for
Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless, when suddenly,
the animator suffered a fatal heart attack.
- ANIMATOR:
- Ulk!
- [thump]
- NARRATOR:
- The cartoon peril was no more. The quest for Holy Grail
could continue.
Back to the Holy Grail page / On to the next scene!
Adam R. Jones